Perspective | School leaders: Are you in love?

You do not know true survival until you spend a day in an elementary school on Friday, Feb. 13 — the day before Valentine’s Day. Everything is red or pink. There are sweet flowers on educators’ desks, cupcake and cookie sprinkles throughout the hallways, candy grams, and a few broken hearts. There are shoeboxes galore coated in stickers and construction paper hearts ready for a myriad of valentines. There are painstaking letters crafted into names from hours of cajoling by parents and guardians.

Having served at the secondary level during this “season of love,” I can confidently say, an elementary Valentine’s is next level.

Somehow, all of this chaos comes down to love. I want others to understand how the role of a principal is grounded in love.

I have been a principal for 16 years in four very different schools. I have made a million mistakes, and I have done some things well. I truly believe that serving as a principal is the best job in education. Yes, the best.

When I was working on my dissertation in 2011, I came across a quote from “Leaders of Learning,” by two famous education researchers, Robert Marzano and Richard DuFour:

To become the best leader you can be, you must fall in love with leading, with the purpose you serve, and the people with whom you work in fulfilling that purpose.

As principals, we repeatedly fall in love with the purpose we serve. Most principals start as teachers, so one would hope they began their careers in education to help children. As they serve in different roles, it’s key for principals to remember this purpose. The days can get crazy, and sometimes principals deal with more adults than they do children. In the midst of meeting upon meeting, dismissal duties, athletic duties, observations, and disciplinary conversations, a principal keeps her purpose — children — at her core.

On my toughest days, I try to sneak into a classroom, even for five minutes. This grounds me. This defines my next steps. Teaching is at the heart of our work as school leaders. We must always take the time to exist within this purpose. And falling in love with our purpose, each and every day, is essential for our survival.  

Marzano and DuFour go on to say that we, as leaders, should also fall in love with those we work with in fulfilling that purpose. A principal serves an entire staff of adults that are all working toward the same goal: children’s success.

When I step back and consider our staff, I am so grateful. I appreciate the love they bring daily for the children. I love their creativity and curiosity. It’s special to reflect on when you first met them, the interview that sealed the deal, or your first time in their classroom as they did what they do best. Helping students learn is a collaborative effort, and it is essential that educators enjoy their colleagues and fall “in love” with their team as they work together toward their common goal.

Principals lead that charge of collaboration. But it’s not just about the staff in a school; this collaboration is also about how principals work with other principals. We also fall “in love” with our colleagues as we help one another, vent with each other, problem solve through challenges we are all facing, and celebrate together. 

I saved the first part of Marzano and DuFour’s quote for last. As principals, we must also step into our own leadership and fall in love with the process of leading. This is not an egocentric view of ourselves, but a recognition of the opportunity that we have each and every day to impact children, our future. 

We should take time to hone our craft as leaders and get better. We should spend time with other leaders so we can learn from them. We should advocate for our fellow school leaders. Stepping into our own destiny as school leaders is essential to achieve our purpose. Flip Flippen, the founder of professional development organization Capturing Kids’ Hearts, says it best: “The goal of leadership is other people’s success.” This is what we fall in love with as school leaders — helping staff and students and parents succeed and work together. 

The very best principals keep all of these components in mind as we continually strive to become the best leaders we can be. And this requires falling in love — with leadership, with purpose, and with the people we serve.