Perspective | A superintendent asks for respect

When I was 10 years old, I watched my grandmother clean the homes of white families. I heard her say, “Yes ma’am” and “No ma’am,” to women younger than she was. As a child, I did not yet have the language to describe what I was witnessing. But I understood dignity. I understood humility. And I understood the discipline of respect, even when respect was not equally returned.

That experience shaped me. It taught me that respect is not weakness. It is strength. It is self-possession. It is character.

And it is what we must model for our students.

At our last Meet and Confer session, I was addressed publicly by my first name by the Durham Association of Educators (DAE) president at the close of the meeting.

Let me be clear. This is not about ego. It is not about titles for the sake of titles. It is about professionalism, respect, cultural awareness, and what our students learn when they watch how adults treat one another.

There is enough dysfunction at the federal and state level. If we begin to exercise it at the local level, we work against the very reason we show up every day, and that is for the scholars of Durham Public Schools.

I appreciate that the statement issued by the DAE president acknowledged the racial connotation of what occurred. If we can recognize that in a written statement, then surely we can demonstrate the same awareness and respect around the Meet and Confer table. Our children deserve nothing less.

In this district, we teach students to address adults and one another with respect. We correct them when they fail to do so. We teach them that leadership carries responsibility. We cannot demand those standards from children while excusing behavior from adults that falls short of those same expectations.

When the Superintendent is addressed in a manner inconsistent with professional norms in a formal public setting, it sends a message. It suggests that standards of respect are optional. That protocol is negotiable. That titles earned through years of study, hard work, and sacrifice are insignificant.

As a Black man serving as Superintendent, I cannot ignore the historical context in which informality toward Black professionals, particularly those in positions of authority, has been used to diminish status and erode credibility. What you ignore, you allow. What some may dismiss as a small slight, carries weight in a country where Black men with doctorates have often been denied the dignity routinely afforded to others.

Stripping enslaved Africans of their names when they were brought to the United States was a strategy of domination intended to erase identity and assert control. During the Jim Crow era, it was a common practice for white individuals to use first names to refuse Black men the courtesy titles of “Mr.” or “Dr.”, reducing them to a subservient status. 

This is bigger than a microaggression. It reflects how bias can surface in ways that normalize inequity.

Intent does not erase impact.

This moment is not about division. It is about accountability and growth.

I am speaking today as an accountability partner for the sake of our children. I cannot censor anyone’s speech. But I can insist that we hold ourselves to the standards we expect in our classrooms. I will continue to practice respect and humility, and I will not be part of or tolerate anything less.

We cannot prepare students to thrive in a diverse democracy if we fail to model respect across differences. There are times to restore and there are times to reset. 

We cannot claim equity while tolerating behavior that undermines dignity.

We cannot ask our students to rise above bias if adults refuse to examine their own.

This moment, while difficult, is also a teaching moment. If our students are watching, and they are, let them see adults reflect, grow, and recommit to treating one another with dignity. Let them see that respect is not optional. Let them see that leadership requires accountability. Let them see that you have one time to teach people how to treat you. Let them see that we can confront harm and still move forward together.

So here is my call to action.

Let us recommit, publicly and collectively, to professional norms in all district spaces.

Let us recommit to ongoing equity and implicit bias training or self-study, not as a compliance exercise, but as leadership development. To disrupt oppressive systems, we must first be willing to disrupt ourselves.

Let us hold ourselves to the same expectations we hold our students.

And let us ensure that every person in this district, regardless of race, title, or position, receives the dignity they have earned.

Our students deserve adults who model respect. They deserve leaders who confront uncomfortable truths. They deserve a district culture where equity is not a slogan, but a practice.

Let us use this moment to teach what some adults may not have fully learned.

Respect is not situational.

Respect is not selective.

Respect is the foundation of community.

Our students deserve to see it.

I will continue to lead with professionalism, integrity, and respect for every member of this community. I expect the same in return.