Editor’s Note: Leah Marone has worked with teachers and principals across North Carolina. Her new book is about how to break free from solving the problems of others. This excerpt is adapted from Serial Fixer copyright © 2025 Leah Marone, used by permission of Broadleaf Books. Serial Fixer will publish on Nov. 11, 2025. You can preorder here.
In what areas of my life do I struggle to trust myself, and what factors contribute to this?
In moments of uncertainty, how can I reassure myself of my resilience and inner strength?
What activities, practices, or reps can I incorporate to help me build my sense of trust in myself?
Increasing self-awareness
Before diving into actionable steps, it’s imperative to cultivate self-awareness — the foundation upon which self-trust is built. Self-awareness involves tuning in to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors without judgment, allowing you to understand yourself on a deeper level and recognize patterns that may be undermining your confidence and trust in yourself. You don’t have to engage or solve these problems. Instead, self-awareness is about acknowledging where you are in any given moment and understanding how you are responding. It involves consciously choosing to exist in the here and now, rather than getting caught up in internal chatter or focusing on worries and thoughts rooted in the future or past.
Mindfulness practice
Dedicate time each day to mindfulness meditation or simply practicing present-moment awareness. Notice your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without attaching judgment or trying to change them.
Journaling
Set aside time for reflective journaling, where you can freely express your thoughts and feelings without censoring yourself. Explore recurring themes or patterns in your journal entries to gain insight into your inner world.
Seek feedback
Actively solicit feedback from trusted friends, family members, or mentors about how you’re perceived and how your actions impact others. Be open to constructive criticism as an opportunity for growth. Be mindful of defensiveness; make efforts to tame your ego and absorb helpful information.
Self-reflection
Take regular moments to pause and reflect on your experiences, both positive and negative. What lessons can you glean from past successes and failures? How can you apply these insights to future endeavors?
Actionable steps for cultivating self-trust
Align with your InnerCritic
Whenever your InnerCritic surfaces with self-doubt or self-criticism, challenge its validity. Ask yourself if these thoughts are based on facts or distorted perceptions. Practice self-compassion by offering yourself kindness and understanding. Omit the fear that these tactics will diminish or compete with your drive, dedication, and productivity.
Set realistic expectations
Identify unrealistic expectations you may be placing on yourself and adjust them to be more achievable and aligned with your values. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks, celebrating progress along the way.
Practice assertiveness
Assert your boundaries and communicate your needs effectively with others. Learn to say no when necessary and prioritize activities that align with your values and goals.
Celebrate your achievements
Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Cultivate a mindset of gratitude for your strengths and successes, fostering a sense of self-confidence and worth.
Embrace failure as growth
Shift your perspective on failure from a reflection of your inadequacy to an opportunity for learning and growth. Recognize that setbacks are inevitable on the path to success and resilience is built through adversity.
Seek support
Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or professionals who uplift and encourage you. Share your struggles and vulnerabilities openly, knowing that you’re not alone in your journey.
By increasing self-awareness and implementing these actionable steps, you can gradually cultivate a deeper sense of self-trust and resilience, empowering you to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and authenticity. Building self-trust is a journey, not a destination — so be patient and compassionate with yourself along the way.
The thought of adding or removing a habit from your routine can be overwhelming. Does your mind have a tendency to create roadblocks or distractions? Perhaps it tries to subtly convince you that the efforts involved in making a change are too daunting or not worth it. You, like many, may take refuge behind the excuse that you don’t have the necessary time to make an adjustment or add something new. There is a relentless pull to “be on” all the time — responding to messages, keeping up with social media, and staying perpetually busy. This constant engagement leads to burnout, anxiety, and a disconnect from yourself. To counteract this, cultivate the ability to be comfortable with just being, without the surrounding distractions.
Building trust within yourself
Set aside specific times each day to unplug from digital devices. This can be during meals, before bed, or as part of your morning routine. Throughout the day, you are likely transitioning between different roles, activities, or tasks numerous times. These transitions offer perfect opportunities to pause, check in with yourself, and observe your surroundings. Notice how your current environment impacts you. The urge to constantly check your devices under the guise of productivity often sabotages these moments to connect with yourself, those around you, or your immediate situation. Instead, use this time to engage in activities that don’t involve screens, fostering a deeper connection with yourself and your environment.
Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. Spend time with yourself doing something you enjoy, whether it’s taking a walk, practicing a hobby, or simply sitting in silence. Many people fear being alone because it is when daunting thoughts or suppressed anxieties tend to surface. Initially, breaking the habit of pacifying yourself with distractions can flood the mind with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. This often stems from a lack of self-trust in navigating these themes, and the energy expended in masking them perpetuates a feeling of inner disconnect. It may feel uncomfortable at first to rid yourself of distractions and simply be. However, your brain uses these opportunities to clear mental clutter, and it will continue to do so unless you proactively manage it. Embrace these moments as opportunities to reconnect with your inner self and build a stronger foundation of self-trust.
When you are changing things up or learning a new skill, it’s natural to feel challenged and uncomfortable. Remember, you’ve faced this discomfort before in different contexts: learning to walk, reading, cultivating friendships, or starting new roles. These tasks were once challenging, yet with time and repetition, they became second nature. Accessing your grit and patience is a tricky balance, but it’s essential for growth. Embrace the discomfort as a sign of progress and trust in your ability to adapt and overcome.
Developing trust within yourself is key to feeling comfortable in solitude. Trusting yourself means believing in your ability to handle your thoughts, emotions, and experiences without needing external validation or distraction. Here are some ways to cultivate self-trust:
Listen to your intuition
Pay attention to your gut feelings and inner voice. Trust that you know what’s best for you and make decisions based on your inner guidance.
Honor your commitments
Follow through on promises you make to yourself, no matter how small. This builds confidence and trust in your ability to meet your own needs.
Acknowledge your strengths
Regularly remind yourself of your strengths and past accomplishments. This reinforces a positive self-image and trust in your capabilities.
Regular self-check-ins and mindfulness practices can significantly impact your mental and emotional well-being. By making these practices a part of your daily life, you can:
- Increase self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
- Reduce stress and anxiety levels.
- Enhance your ability to stay present and focused.
- Improve your overall mental health and resilience.
Strengthening the relationship with yourself is an ongoing process that requires dedication, patience, and consistent practice. By incorporating these advanced strategies into your daily routine, you not only cultivate a deeper sense of self-connection but also build resilience and inner strength. Much like caring for a garden, this journey demands patience, attention, and consistent effort. As you tend to the soil of your inner being, you plant seeds of self-awareness and self-trust and witness their growth, creating a rich inner landscape of authenticity. Each moment of solitude, each instance of resisting constant distraction nurtures these seeds, fostering resilience and inner growth.
Through mindful nurturing and compassionate self-care, you gradually accumulate a reservoir of self-trust — a belief in your capacity to navigate life’s challenges with clarity and resilience. These practices transcend mere mindfulness; they’re about gaining confidence in your ability to honor your needs and live authentically. By embracing this process and committing to your growth, you lay the foundation for a more grounded, fulfilling existence where self-awareness and self-trust are the cornerstones of a truly fulfilled life that you actively participate in.
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